Now this is the tale of the event,
By which my fortunes took a marked descent,
The story relates how from
When I was wealthier,
I soon came to live in West Philadelphia.
Behind the sainted gates of Bel Air
I received the upbringing that was my share
Playing polo, and seeking to find a good college,
Improving my macro-economic knowledge,
When a sub-prime mortgage crisis erupted,
And my family fortunes were gravely disrupted,
In order to keep our remaining funds stealthier,
Mother said “You’ll have to hide in West Philadelphia”.
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my valise and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then my boarding pass.
Despite my assessment it was below our class.
Economy class on the Greyhound bus line
Jammed in with a tour group drinking cask wine
Is this what Philadelphia held in store?
A life amongst the rabble that I deplore?
But soon, I considered my pattern of speech,
As a sudden bus-stop caused our tires to screech,
I needed discretion
So I would remain healthier:
I’d best watch what I say in West Philadelphia
When the bus stopped and I disembarked
A stranger by the ticket booth quickly remarked,
“Yo homes, ditch the windcheater
And lose the Versace,
You look like you’re dressed up like the black Liberace.”
We egressed to a taxi, where my companion advised
He was the uncle by which I was to be supervised,
He said “Keep that snotty tone and this trip’ll be hell ta ya,
You gotta stay ‘fresh’ here in West Philadelphia’.
He said “I know it’s not the life that you’re after,
But it’ll be a good time, with plenty of laughter”
Perhaps this sojourn would teach me,
Values lost to the wealthier,
Whilst spending time with relatives in West Philadelphia”