Month: February 2014

Tweedledum and Tweedledee Lose The Lonely Mountain

Talking about the use of the word “quarrel” today, it suddenly occurred to me you could write a version of Lewis Carroll’s “Tweedledum and Tweedledee” using the “quarrel” of the last line to refer to the failure to kill J. R. R. Tolkien’s Smaug when he first seized the Lonely Mountain. So I did.

Yes, I’m a big nerd. And yes, I know that Girion used an arrow, not a quarrel, but clearly that would disrupt the whole underpinning of the exercise.

Erebor and the realm of Dale
Joined with the Wyrm in battle;
For fire, and ruin, and death, and bale
awaited those who stood like cattle.

But then flew down Smaug from on high,
Curved like a Mirkwood barrel;
Which frightened poor Lord Girion so,
He went wide with his quarrel.


My Favourite Kings

With thanks to John Morris, who proposed the idea in the first place.

George 6 of Windsor whose diction was shaky,
also the Cobra who’s majestically snaky,
& Harald Bluetooth who gave out some rings…
these are a few of my favourite kings!

Poor Menelaus so cruelly cuckolded,
Then also Aegeus who at black sails, folded
Herod who tried to drown infants in springs…
these are a few of my favourite kings!

Biblical David who toppled a giant,
Mongkut who preferred his women compliant,
Baldwin and the leprosy that he brings…
These are few of my favourite kings!

When the vote bites
When policy stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite kings
And┬árepresentation doesn’t seem…so…bad!